The Truly Unique Ways These Interfaith Families Are Celebrating The Holidays
'Tis the season to get creative.
- Carol Kuruvilla Religion Associate Editor, The Huffington Post
The busy holiday season brings with
it numerous challenges for interfaith families. Christmas or
Hanukkah -- which should take precedence in the household? How can parents
teach kids about the rich spirituality within each of these traditions? How can
they honor the religious beliefs -- or unbelief -- of all members of their
families?
Stacie Garnett-Cook, National
Director of the InterfaithFamily/Your
Community Initiative, which supports interfaith families in eight
communities around the country, said that her biggest advice for families
during this time is to "communicate, communicate, communicate."
"Share with your partner what
parts of the holidays are important to you and why. Also, what parts of the
holidays 'push your buttons.' Then communicate this with extended family ahead
of time so expectations are clear and there are no surprises," Garnett-Cook
told The Huffington Post.
We asked members of our HuffPost's
Voices community to tell us what it's like to celebrate the season in an
interfaith family. Some families use the holidays as an opportunity for
theological discussions around the dinner table. Others just focus on bringing
people together over good food -- and lots of it.
Check out the responses to our
callout below, and add some of your own experiences in the comments. Some
responses have been edited for clarity and length.
Getty Images/Flickr Open
1. A Theme For Every
Night
I was raised Catholic, my husband
is Jewish. We are raising our children in the Jewish tradition. Our
two boys identify as being Jewish, but we celebrate my customs from a secular
perspective.
In an effort to make all parties
feel comfortable and included, we have developed many of our own traditions for
each holiday. Hanukkah is divided into theme nights to avoid the deluge
gift giving during the Christmas/Hanukkah season. For example, after
lighting the menorah, my husband and I gave our sons’ their sibling gift, a
Lego Advent calendar. We also put up our Christmas tree. Other
themes include, but are not limited to, family night (we plan to see It’s a
Wonderful Life this year at a local theater), charity night, project night
(i.e. making a gingerbread house), donut night, and book night (where we spend
the evening reading as a family). On the final night of Hanukkah, we will
host a party which will be attended by Christian, Jewish and Muslim family and
friends. -- Jennifer Reinharz, via email
2. Food Ties Us Together
Not unique maybe, but growing up in
a mixed Muslim and Christian family, we would just celebrate by cooking a lot
of food, invite everyone over on Christmas Day and just use it as an excuse to
be together, celebrate and be happy. The religious aspects would be kept out of
the whole ordeal, and my parents, brother and I would swap presents Christmas
Eve over a more intimate dinner. We would just make sure one quiet room was
available for those who need their 5 prayers a day. -- Mark
Ivan Mukiibi Serunjogi, via Facebook
3. A Christmas Without
Prayer
My sister is Becky Bartlett, she is
Buddhist. My brother is agnostic. My mom is Christian. I am a pagan witch. We
all get along great. Our spiritual beliefs don't cause arguments, but we often
have discussions because we find it to be an interesting topic. -- Crystal
Dewey, via Facebook message
Really, the only difference between
our holiday celebrations and the typical Christian family is we don't pray
before we eat all the food. Christmas has turned into a pretty secular holiday
anyway, so it isn't hard for us to celebrate it with family members of
different faiths. -- Becky
Bartlett, via Facebook
Getty Images
3. A ChrisMus Celebration
My Liberian-born parents have been
married for almost 36 years and we are an interfaith family. My mother is a
Lutheran and my father is a Muslim, so they raised my younger brother and me as
ChrisMus. When I was 11, my brother and I were baptized as Lutherans. We still,
sometimes, fast with our dad during Ramadan and celebrate Eid, and he
celebrates Christmas and Easter with us. We have Christian, Muslim, Buddhist,
Jewish, and Hindu friends. We are blessed because we come from a home that
encouraged us to embrace and love all! -- Sang Kromah, via email
4. A Secular Holiday
My wife is Baptist and I'm agnostic. We celebrate
Christmas like any other family. I don't view the holiday as actually being
overtly Christian and history proves its Pagan roots. -- Jesse
Craighead
5. A Celebration For
Everyone
Some of us are Christian, some of
us are pagan and some of us are atheist. We just get together and celebrate
three different ways, three different times. -- Trace
Mc G
Deborah Kolb via Getty Images
6. A Children's Book That
Adults Will Love
Our newest family tradition is to
read Lemony Snicket's wonderful "The Latke Who Couldn't Stop Screaming: A
Christmas Story." AAAAAAAAAH!!!! -- Jessie
Kerr-Whitt, via Facebook
For a bit more context on
Kerr-Whitt's new family tradition, here's an excerpt from Wired's
review of Lemony
Snicket's book.
The book tells the story of a
latke (potato pancake) that begins to scream when it’s dropped into a pan of
hot oil. It runs down the street, encountering along the way several different
kinds of Christmas decorations, each of which can talk (just as the latke can).
The latke explains part of the Hanukkah story and traditions to each of the
decorations, and then each decoration mistakes the latke for something to do
with Christmas, which prompts the latke to scream again... It’s a great
book for teaching kids about the differences between Christmas and Hanukkah,
what the story and traditions of Hanukkah are, and that tolerance of other
religions is important.
7. Hanukkah With My
Catholic Family
Because my family doesn’t live near
us, I throw a Hanukkah party each year and the participants are my Roman
Catholic husband's family. The kids all get Hanukkah presents, we light
candles, sing Hanukkah songs, eat latkes and sufganiot (jelly donuts), play
dreidel and watch the football game if it's on that Sunday! -- Heather Smith
Martin, via email
8. Christmas Latkes
So the story began several years
ago when Hanukkah and Christmas overlapped. We have a Jewish home, but we
go to my mother-in-law’s house for Christmas (I grew up Jewish and my husband
grew up Christian) and I wanted to make latkes for everyone. I even brought the
special wire grater that had been passed down to me from my parents (the
texture of the potatoes is a big part of making latkes.) They already have
traditional foods that they serve on Christmas eve and for Christmas dinner, so
I ended up making latkes on Christmas morning. Everyone loved them, and so
we’ve done it basically every year since! My sister-in-law is also in a
long-term relationship with a Jewish man, and he brings knishes from New York
City to add to the feast. -- Stacie Garnett-Cook, via email
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