Planning a wedding is
notoriously stressful. But for the
growing number of people who
are falling in love with a partner of a different faith, a wedding can
come with the added challenge of trying to decide how to honor their two
(or more) religions.
Should couples have one ceremony that brings their faiths together,
or two separate events? Who will officiate? How much say should the
parents have?
The Huffington Post reached out to nine interfaith couples who spent
weeks thinking about these questions. From using a Muslim peace greeting
during a Catholic ceremony to reading poems by the Sufi mystic Rumi in
both Persian and English, here are some of the creative ways these
couples celebrated their religious identities on their big day.
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"As we started planning our
interfaith wedding, we discovered many similarities between Hindu and
Jewish customs. We therefore decided to integrate both of our traditions
into one fusion ceremony that was co-officiated by the Maharaj and the
Rabbi. To us, this symbolized the joining of our cultures going
forward."
-- Hardik and Michelle Chaudhari, Chicago, Illinois
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"We decided that since both of our
religions are a key part of our identities, we would honor them both. As
such, we had both a Sikh and a Catholic ceremony. The Sikh ceremony was
in the morning in a Gurudwara and the Catholic ceremony in the
afternoon in a church. Leading up to the wedding, we also had a number
of cultural traditions that we did, including a
Mangalorean Roce,
Punjabi Haldi and
Mehendi.
During the reception following the ceremonies, we had a combination of
Mangalorean and Punjabi traditions included in the reception."
-- Harneet Singh and Rouella Joan Mendonca, Seattle, Washington
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"Since Seema is Hindu and I am
Christian, it took a lot of time, discussion and planning to figure out
the right way to honor both of our faiths. For the wedding we chose to
have a Pandit (a Hindu priest) to honor the traditions and ceremony of
the Hindu culture... To honor the Christian faith we chose to get
married in front of our family and loved ones, exchange vows and
rings... The only thing we didn't have was Scripture from the Bible."
--Shannon and Seema Paul, Long Beach, California
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Medina Fredericks
"Frank and I chose to have a civil
ceremony officiated by our friend, Rabbi Joshua Stanton. Although a
rabbi married us, we did honor both our faith traditions. Frank’s two
older sisters read verses from the Bible, and my uncle read a passage
from the Qur’an. Since my mother is from Afghanistan, my two older
brothers read a marriage poem by Rumi in both Persian and English. We
also included elements from an Afghan Wedding Ceremony later during the
reception such as putting mehndi on the hand, drinking sweet juice and
eating Afghan sweets to bless the marriage."
-- Medina and Frank Fredericks, Queens, New York
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"On our wedding day in Leesburg,
VA, we integrated the foundations of love and peace from both the
Christian and Buddhist traditions. We had a Vietnamese Buddhist monk
from my mother's temple come to bless us with chanting while my father's
Presbyterian pastor provided a message on authentic, unconditional
love. The ceremony was a powerful example of acceptance, as we witnessed
the monk and my pastor stand side-by-side overlooking the Potomac
River. As a couple, we wholeheartedly believe that the common
denominator of any religion is the transformative power of love."
-- Lena Linh Franklin & Buzz Wehunt, Atlanta, Georgia
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"We chose to honor both of our
faiths in our wedding by having a dual ceremony. As guests arrived the
scene was set for a traditional Indian ceremony. We had a dear family
friend of the groom's father, Uncle Madhu, lead us through the rituals
of a Hindu marriage ceremony as we paid respect to our families,
exchanged a mangalya (wedding necklace) and performed the sapthapadi
(seven steps around the fire). After a short intermission where chai and
samosas were served to guests, we gathered everyone again for a
traditional 'American' ceremony. The groom's uncle and godfather was
ordained and married us in a very traditional format including
scripture, poetry, a ring exchange and blessings."
-- Venay and Kristi Nyamathi, San Francisco, California
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"We actually had two interfaith
wedding ceremonies. It was important to us that both ceremonies be a
fusion of our two faiths and cultural backgrounds, to fully represent
the unity of joining our lives together in marriage.
The
religious ceremony
(held 9/11/11) was officiated by a Catholic priest and a Muslim imam,
and held in the University of Chicago chapel used both for Catholic
services and Muslim Friday prayer. We had readings from the Bible and a
Muslim devotional poem. The ceremony included both the traditional
Catholic Rite of Marriage and a Nikah, traditional Islamic marriage
contract signing. We were also aware of the significance of the date and
felt like our ceremony was a symbolic counter to the horrific acts a
decade prior.
The
legal marriage ceremony (held
the day before, on 9/10/11) was officiated by an interfaith minister.
She spoke of the commonalities between our two faiths (both Abrahamic,
worship the same God, similar values, recognition of Jesus, deference of
Mary). We began the ceremony by passing the sign of peace (an important
Catholic ritual) that tied in the Muslim greeting of 'As-salaamu
Alaikum,' meaning 'Peace be with you.' This ceremony also included some
sayings from the Prophet and scripture from the Bible. Processional
music was performed by strings (cello, violin) and a tabla and sitar
(nod to Shaan's Pakistani heritage, which was also celebrated the night
prior in a
henna party)."
-- Katie McHugh Akbar and Shaan Akbar, Pasadena, California
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"We honored our two faiths in many
ways on our wedding day. First, we made the choice to both wear,
including our entire wedding party, fully traditional (with a bit of a
modern twist) attire for each ceremony. We had all our outfits made in
India and the Philippines. Did we mention that we performed BOTH
ceremonies on the same day? This way our guests and family members could
enjoy the full experience of our faiths and cultures at the same time.
For the Hindu ceremony, we chose Pundit Sharma, who spoke perfect
English and Sanskrit so he could explain/translate the entire ceremony
to everyone. This gave everyone (including ourselves) the opportunity to
be connected with what was happening and be able to relate to the
different aspects of the Hindu ceremony. For our Catholic wedding,
Father Ben of Our Lady of the Assumption Church embraced our Hindu
guests and made it a point to verbally welcome them at the commencement
of our ceremony. We also served our guests with authentic Indian and
Philippine dishes for breakfast, lunch and dinner."
-- Rhowena Adolfo and Veeren Patel, Toronto, Canada
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"We tried to incorporate both mine
and my husband’s religious and cultural backgrounds in our wedding day
by holding two separate ceremonies in one day. A 'western' ceremony,
where I wore a white wedding dress, which incorporated both Christian
and Jewish elements to represent my family, ending in the Jewish
tradition of breaking the glass to a chorus of 'Mazel Tov!' We followed
this with a traditional Hindu ceremony officiated by a Hindu Pandit
where my husband rode up on a horse to meet my family, and we walked
around a fire. We both wore traditional Indian outfits; him in a
sherwani and me in a colourful lehenga.During the reception we continued
with the Jewish traditions by dancing the hora and getting lifted up on
chairs, while later we were entertained by an Indian dance group. Our
Canadian and Indian influence even carried into the meal, where guests
had a choice of North American cuisine, or fusion Indian dishes. It was
a long day with two ceremonies and a lot of things to do and see, but
well worth it as it was a memorable day for not only us but also our
guests."
-- Jessica and Neil Bhasin, Toronto, Canada
